1. You keep breaking up and getting back together.
On average, more than 1/4 of couples will break up and get back together at some point, according to research. And this might even end up becoming a never-ending cycle of on-again-off-again relationships. Maybe you’re second-guessing yourself and decide to give your partner a second chance, or you’re afraid to let go and move on. But it’s important to break that cycle, because this kind of relationship might not do you or your partner any good.
Many couples who repeatedly separate and then make up argue more often, feel more uncertain about their future, and feel less satisfied with their relationship, than those who don’t. There are, however, some couples whose relationship becomes more stable with time, so it’s important to ask yourself whether it’s really worth it to enter yet another cycle that might not make you happy.
2. You don’t like yourself.
Not liking yourself in a relationship can be exhausting, especially if you don’t like who you’ve become because of your partner. Maybe you’ve distanced yourself from your family that you love, or feel less motivated to try to achieve your goals because of them. If your partner is constantly bringing you down in any way, instead of inspiring and being supportive, it’s time to cut them out of your life.
3. Your partner is constantly criticizing you.
It’s one thing to mention what you don’t like about how your partner behaves, which can be a healthy thing to do and can help you better communicate with each other and improve yourself. But it’s a totally different thing when your partner criticizes your personality and character.
When they do that, they just let out their frustration with you, blaming you and not expecting you to change for the better. These people often get insulted easily and need to defend their ego. This can lead to you and your partner losing respect for each other, and even to contempt. So if you’ve noticed that this happens a lot and there’s no way of stopping it, it might be better to leave that person.
4. You’re afraid of being alone.
Fear of being single is not a good enough reason to stay in a relationship, especially if there’re signs that your partner isn’t right for you and you’re not happy. Studies have shown that people who are afraid of being single settle for any partner just for the sake of being in a relationship, no matter how this affects its quality. However, that doesn’t make the situation any better, and that fear will also make it harder to get out of an unsatisfying relationship.
5. You live in the past.
If you think about how much fun you used to have with your partner and how happy you were with them in the past more than you enjoy the actual relationship in the present, this is a red flag. Being more in love with the memory of who your partner was or what your relationship used to be like won’t bring you happiness once you realize that this is the only thing that is keeping you from leaving. So it’s important to distinguish between what’s gone and not coming back and what’s real and worth staying for.
6. Your partner is too unpredictable and intense.
Some people can be nice and charming one moment, and then suddenly angry the next. This behavior can make you feel scared and intimidated, and like you always need to walk on eggshells around them to prevent triggering them even in little ways. That means your partner is emotionally volatile.
It can be because they have anxiety or depression, or because of anger issues. These things can be dealt with. But if your partner isn’t acknowledging the problem and isn’t willing to work on themselves, you should choose what’s best for you and leave this relationship that makes you feel scared and confused.
7. Your relationship is superficial.
When you’ve just met someone, it’s understandable that you won’t immediately open up to them and reveal your deepest secrets. Your conversations will be focused around more simple things, like your hobbies or your job. But with time, it’s natural for you and your partner to grow close, which means you aren’t afraid to show your more vulnerable side and discuss more serious topics.
If you’ve been together with someone for a long time and still haven’t moved to that stage, it might be a sign your partner isn’t the right one for you. It might be because they feel insecure, or because they opened up to someone in the past and were rejected. But if you constantly show them that you want to have a deeper connection with them and they don’t respond in the same way, it might mean the right person is waiting for you somewhere else.
8. Your relationship is one-sided.
If your partner only wants to be with you when they need you, for example when they had a bad day at work or when there are some other problems, this is not a good sign. They might be using you to get attention, while not caring about what you need. And if you constantly do all the work in your relationship, providing your partner with support when they don’t do the same for you, you might be stuck in a toxic relationship.
9. Your partner often says he’ll leave you.
If your partner threatens to leave you, for example during fights, or when they can’t make you do what they want, this might be a form of psychological manipulation. They’re using your fear of abandonment to control you. This controlling behavior might extend to different areas of your life, so it’s important to recognize it and put a stop to it before you get hurt.
10. You don’t want to share good news with your partner.
If something positive has happened in your life, but it doesn’t even cross your mind anymore to share it with your partner, it might be a sign that your relationship is in trouble. This might mean that you feel like your happiness is irrelevant to your partner, because they don’t care about you as much as they used to. And if that’s true, and they don’t genuinely encourage you and feel happy when you succeed, it might be time to leave.