1. Say “thank you” instead of apologizing.
Sometimes you don’t need to apologize when you communicate with your partner about something that’s been bothering you, such as venting. Instead of saying, “I’m sorry you have to put up with all my mood swings,” it may be better to say, “Thank you for putting up with my constant mood swings.” It can shed some positivity in your relationship and your partner may appreciate your genuineness more.
2. Take initiative instead of asking.
If your partner often doesn’t want to go to the movies or dinner when you ask them, then you can try saying, “We’re going to this new restaurant today,” instead of “Do you want to do something fun today?” They may be more open to going and their mood can improve. Sometimes it’s better to not give your partner a choice and it’s better to state the plans for the day.
3. Tickling can make your partner give you more attention.
Some couples find it fun to be tickled and some don’t if they are too sensitive to it. However, if your partner doesn’t mind getting tickled, it’s actually a great way to show affection and get them to hold your hand. If you want more attention or affection, you can try tickling your partner and eventually they’ll want to stop being tickled, and give you that attention you’ve been wanting.
4. Tipping your girlfriend’s hairdresser may save you the drama.
If you are the type of person who doesn’t notice small changes, such as your girlfriend getting a new haircut, you may want to try getting closer to her hairdresser. You can have an agreement with her hairdresser by tipping him every time your girlfriend gets a new haircut, and they will call you explaining what changes they made.
5. Using an Evernote list can help you remember your partner’s interests.
People generally use the Evernote application for things they can’t remember or work-related ideas they need for later. But this app can do more wonders than just helping you alone — it can make your relationship stronger. Every time your partner shows interest in particular jewelry, sneakers, or clothing, you can add them to the list. This way, when their birthday comes around, you’ll know just what to get them.
6. Calling your partner by their name can help bring the spark back.
Calling your partner cute names is generally a good way to show some love. But if you call them by their first name and then say that you love them, it may catch them off guard and bring some light and genuineness into the relationship.
7. Forcing your spouse to go out with friends can help them realize they need it.
If your wife or husband spends most of their time at home cleaning and taking care of the kids, it might be harder for them to go out and spend time with friends because they’re so preoccupied with family.
That’s why sometimes forcing them out of the house can be a solution (without any arguments, however). Also, you may want to call their friends to plan a gathering with your husband/wife to clear their heads and have a great time.
8. Try to stop and think before saying something to your partner.
It’s important to sometimes swallow your pride and ego — not doing so can only damage the relationship and bring nothing good out of it. If your partner says something upsetting, you can try taking a deep breath and counting to 5.
Try to think about what the right thing to say will be to ease tense energy during an argument. You may want to let them know that they hurt your feelings but in a light-mannered, less aggressive way.
9. Travel alone as much as you can.
There’s nothing wrong with spending some time apart. Everyone needs rest from time to time. Moreover, being away from your partner can make you miss them more, and this will spice up the relationship.
10. Be vulnerable.
When you’re in a fight with your partner, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. You can point out that you value them and are afraid that this fight might lead to a breakup. That way, your partner will know that no matter how angry you are, you still love and need them.
Bonus: having a secret signal
“My girlfriend is big into PDA, but I’m not. She complained about it a lot, so my solution was to squeeze her hand twice, and she would reply by squeezing my hand 3 times. I explained to her that 2 hand squeezes meant ’love you,’ and 3 squeezes meant ’love you too